Posts Tagged ‘epiphany’

Breaking Up With The Scale

I’ve always been a game player with the scale. How much do I weigh before I pee, how much do I weigh after I pee? What if I move the scale to east wall in the bathroom instead of the south wall? The scale and I typically meet at least once per day and our relationship is toxic. The number impacts my mood, my self worth, my food choices and really, it is only just a number. One of the things I have been working with my RD on is not weighing myself so much. In the past few weeks, despite my on again off again relationship with Weight Watchers, I have stopped weighing daily. I haven’t graduated to once per week but I am widling it down to about three times per week.

In the same time that I have been working on my relationship with the scale, I have been seeing a personal trainer at my gym. We have been meeting twice per week and she has been teaching me about how to strength train properly. When I committed to losing the last 50lbs, I knew that I wanted to incorporate building muscle. I’m not getting any younger, of course, and I want my body to be healthy and building muscle is part of that. I’ve also read a million and a half times that if you build muscle as you lose, you will be less likely to have sagging skin. I already have some sagging skin issues around my mid section and my inner thighs from the weight I have already lost and my career as a yo yo dieter. I’m hoping that my new weight lifting routine will prevent it from getting worse. I don’t have dreams of wearing a bikini….ever….but defined arms and legs sure would be nice.

All of that aside, I had some pretty hefty expectations about what would happen when I started lifting on a regular basis. I envisioned the fat just melting away like butter in a hot cast iron skillet. I thought my relationship with the scale would get better because, obviously, the numbers would plummet to my happy weight in a matter of weeks. Well, girlfriends, that surely didn’t happen. In fact, in three weeks of committed running and weightlifting, I have lost a whopping .4 lbs. But, something beautiful is happening. My arms are looking more defined and my legs are becoming very shapely. My midsection is becoming a bit flatter and I can almost  see my girly bits without looking in the mirror. I feel firmer in my body and physically stronger than I ever have.

The first time I met with my trainer, Magen, a boppy young hot thang, I told her that I no longer wanted to focus on the scale and that I wanted to concentrate on fitting into smaller clothes. She took my measurements and told me that we would take them again in four weeks. Well, about 8 days ago, I was frustrated with the number on the scale and I knew I needed some kind of boost if I was going to keep this up. I had the DH measure me and we started a spreadsheet. Well, my friends, last night I took my measurements again and compared them. I was pleased with the results; I lost 4.5 inches in just 8 short days. I can’t wait to see what my measurements are with my trainer! She is measuring me again this coming Thursday and will compare my numbers to what they were when we started our sessions. I don’t know what her numbers were so I can’t compare them but I am excited to know that just comparing them to last week, I have lost inches! No, I haven’t dropped a dress size but I am on my way to a firmer, fitter me.

Seeing these results help me to, logically, understand that the number on the scale is not the end all be all on this road to getting healthy and fit. There are more important things to consider, like the way my body looks and feels. I’m hoping that this new approach will help me to stay off the scale. We have had a long and hard relationship and I think this is the beginning of me calling things off.

Doing The Leg Work

A few days have passed since my last post and I have already missed writing on this blog. Writing is such an essential part of who I am that I feel insane without it. Sometimes, I feel insane with it but that is a different story 😀 Anyway, I am back Weight Watchers and counting my points. Since I started again on Tuesday, I have a had a couple of realizati0ns that I’d like to share with you. These little moments of clarity are what this road to being healthy and fit is all about.

I officially started counting points again on Tuesday. It was then that a little light bulb went off about a continual pattern in my choices with weight watchers. I start on flex, don’t really mind counting the points but start to think that following the SFT (core) will make my life easier. I do choose from the filling foods list after-all so why should I need to worry with counting. Well, now I know why I should worry with counting. It seems to me that there is something about the logging into my tracker and tracking the points that keeps me OP (on plan). Each and every time, except my first go round, of not counting, my mind starts to tell me that I really don’t need to worry about tracking or counting anything. Next thing I know, I am eating (uncounted) pizza and buffalo wings.

That realization led me to the second one. What would happen if I made the pizza and the buffalo wings part of my plan? What if I ate them within my points budget instead of automatically hitting the panic button and going crazy on it?  This got me thinking about legalizing foods and I am of the mindset that no foods should be off limits and that we have to make all foods legal in order to be successful. But, I haven’t really been doing that. My RD, plenty of books and most of the people I know that have successfully kept off their weight have told me this. In certain arenas of my life, I have legalized my “trigger foods”. I can keep nutella in my house now and rarely binge on it. I did that by buying a boatload of jars and keeping them in my house at all times. Doing that took the glamour away from it. Don’t get me wrong, when my mind wants to binge, nutella is still the first place it goes but binging just because it is there no longer happens. And if we are being honest about it, for me, trigger foods and binging don’t always go hand in hand. If I “need” to binge, I can do it on grapes if I have to.

So, I know that the legalizing thing works but I’ve never done the leg work of legalizing eating out . I have a few safe places like Ukrop’s or Panera but in most cases, eating out is a big bad scary wolf to me. I fear it and typically overeat like there is no tomorrow when I go to certain types of places. The main culprits are Uno’s Chicago Grill, Mexican food, Italian food and any sort of unplanned dinner out. I always do the same thing, order everything I want, eat it all, order dessert, eat it all and leave feeling sick and miserable. So, how do I legalize it? What if I plan for it? Hmmm….who’d a thought?

With that in mind, I talked to the DH and he has agreed to help me with legalizing eating out. In honor of that, tonight, we are going to Uno’s for pizza. I went online, scoped out the menu and have learned the points value of my favorites. Sure, I have gone to the Uno’s site in the past but have only ever looked at the NI of the foods that I perceive as healthy. I have to say, I was pleasantly surprised. I can have flat-bread pizza and my favorite Gorgonzola walnut side salad for a less than shocking number of points. If I want the deep dish pizza, it is a few more but nothing that a sweaty workout can’t make up for. Who knew? Next weekend, we shall venture to our favorite Mexican establishment.

I’m not sure why these things have never dawned on me before but I feel like I am one step closer to my goals now. I feel like if I keep on keepin’ on with the points and learn to eat at my triggering restaurants, I will have won a beautiful part of the battle. I think that one day, I will get to a place that counting isn’t necessary and that I can walk into a hole in the wall Italian joint without panic in my gut. I just have to do the leg work first.